Mall Santas and Yuletide Scares
by baseballfan44
Summary: The Mall Santa from A Christmas Story has come to visit the Capitol City Mall when the Dukes were kids. You don't have to have seen that movie to read this story, instead you'll just think I'm crazy.


And here some of you thought your stories were a little on the crazy side. Read this one, and you'll see yours ain't so crazy after all. But when you review, you can lie and make me feel better if you'd like. If you've seen that movie A Christmas Story you'll really understand it but you don't have to have seen that movie. It's all in good fun.

Merry Christmas everybody!

**Mall Santas and Yuletide Scares**

Bo stared intently at the little white flakes whirling around in the small glass dome. Grinning, the young boy picked up the snow globe once more and shook it with all his might. He giggled as the snow substitute once again began whizzing about.

Behind the four-year-old, his oldest cousin Luke stood watching. "Bo," the ten-year-old groaned. "Can ya take yer eyes off that thing fer two minutes? I wanna show ya somethin'."

The younger Duke cousin paid no attention to his cousin. Instead, he once more shook the snow globe and watched it again, mesmerized by its apparent wonder. Luke just rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I'll just go show it ta Daisy then instead," Luke said defiantly, crossing his arms across his chest.

When Bo didn't answer yet again, Luke turned around in search of their eight-year old cousin, Daisy. It didn't take him long to find Daisy in the kitchen with their Aunt Martha, baking cookies. While Daisy could run just as fast and jump just as high and fish just as well as Luke could, she also liked to do some girly things like baking cookies. Luke rolled his eyes.

"Daisy, come here, I gotta show ya somethin' real cool," he announced. His cousin turned around, feeding him an annoyed look.

"I'm busy Luke," she shot back. "I'm makin' Christmas cookies. If I leave ya won't have no cookies fer Christmas. Go show it ta Bo."

"I already tried, Daisy," Luke informed. "He ain't interested. He just keeps lookin' at that dumb snow globe."

"Luke, why don't you go show whatever it is to your Uncle Jesse?" Martha suggested, stroking her oldest nephew's hair.

"I can't, Aunt Martha," said Luke. "I wanted ta show them what I made Uncle Jesse fer Christmas. I can't show Uncle Jesse!"

"Oops, my mistake, Luke," Martha replied sweetly. "Why don't you go see if he needs any help with the chores, an' then you can show Bo and Daisy the present later, okay?"

Luke sighed and put on a defeated scowl. "Okay." He plodded out the door; now in search of the man he considered to be his father. It wasn't hard to find him; he was just in the barn, feeding Maudine the mule.

"Hey Uncle Jesse," he greeted. "Aunt Martha told me to come see if ya needed any help."

"Well, now that's a good idea," Jesse told him. "Cause the sooner we git done here, the sooner we can go ta Capitol City ta see Santa at the mall."

Luke's eyes instantaneously lit up. "Oh yeah!" he exclaimed. "I forgot we was gonna see Santa tonight!"

Jesse couldn't help but grin as the boy's mood suddenly changed. "Well, git on in there an' git some more oats fer Maudine."

Luke eagerly obeyed.

Once the sunset had come, and the Dukes ate dinner, they set out for Capitol City Mall. All three kids were jabbering away in the backseat. Martha had made Bo leave his snow globe at home, so the youngest Duke was free to enjoy the evening with his cousins. Martha turned and smiled at Jesse at the lively chatter that filled the vehicle. Jesse shook his head as he listened to what his kids were saying.

"Luke, what are you gonna ask Santa for?" Daisy inquired, looking over Bo's head.

Luke grinned. "I'm gonna ask 'im fer a new bike. Mine's gettin' real small. It's so small Bo could ride it."

"Hey, I'm a big boy!" Bo protested. "Aunt Martha, ain't I a big boy?"

"Yes Bo, you're a big boy," came Martha's response.

"See, I told ya, Lukie," Bo said, satisfaction painting his voice. "I _am_ a big boy."

"All right, big boy, what are you gonna ask Santa fer Christmas?" Luke asked his youngest cousin.

Bo put his index finger to his mouth, deep in thought. "Hmm. Maybe somethin' ta race my cars on."

"Of course," Daisy muttered. "Bo, tell Uncle Jesse what ya told us ya wanna be when ya grow up."

Bo's radiant grin lit up the backseat. "I wanna be a racecar driver, Unca Jesse! I wanna be real fast like Lukie an' Daisy are on bikes."

Jesse chuckled. "That's quite a dream, there son. Well, we'll just hafta hope Santa gits ya that toy racetrack fer yer toy cars so's you can practice."

"Yeah!" Bo whooped. "Daisy, what're you askin' fer?"

"I wanna ask fer a new doll since Luke threw mine down the wood chipper," Daisy said angrily.

"Yer such a girl," Luke shot back.

"Duh," Daisy rebuked. "I sure ain't a boy. Boys smell bad. 'Cept Uncle Jesse, an' Bo, cause he's too young ta smell bad."

The adults chuckled at Daisy's child-like comment about the opposite sex. Conversation dwindled down for the duration of the trip. Bo leaned his head on his oldest cousin's shoulder and fell asleep. He enthusiastically woke up, however, once Jesse shook his shoulder to inform him they had reached Capitol City Mall. The family quickly moved through the mall to see Santa, who sat in a chair higher up from floor level. There were stairs leading up to it, and the children got to ride down a slide once they were finished with Santa.

"Come on, Luke!" Bo said, fervently tugging on the older boy's arm towards the stairs. "Let's go see Santa!"

"All right, Bo," Luke told his baby cousin. "Come on, Daisy."

"We'll wait for ya down here," Jesse called after them.

The three children excitedly made their way to the rear of the line up to Santa.

"Luke, I'm nervous," said young Bo. "What did I say I was gonna ask Santa fer Christmas again?"

"You were gonna ask for a toy racetrack, buddy, remember?" Luke reminded him.

"Oh yeah!" Bo exclaimed. "Could I go first so I don't forget again?"

Daisy and Luke agreed, and stood with Bo in the line for the next half an hour until it was finally Bo's turn to sit on Santa's lap. He ran up to Santa, but was intercepted by an elf that picked up and set him on Santa's lap none too gently.

Suddenly, Bo found his mind blank. He stared up at Santa's frightening eyes, which were glaring at him.

"Come on kid, tell me whatcher name is," Santa commanded.

Bo froze up, looking up at Santa with saucers for eyes. "Uhhh, my name is uhhh…"

Santa cut him off, without waiting for an answer. "All right kid, just tell me whatcha want fer Christmas."

Bo's eyes looked back down at Luke for help. When his older cousins both nodded, Bo grinned with confidence. "I wanna racetrack."

"That's cute kid," Santa responded dryly. "Everyone wants their very own racetrack. But we can't all get what we want, can we? Okay, next! Ho, ho, ho."

He grabbed Bo under the armpits and handed him off to the elf, who literally threw him down the slide. The blonde boy screamed the whole way down, much to the confusion of his oblivious cousins. They both shrugged, and Daisy advanced forward.

She was thrown on Santa's lap just the way Bo had been, but since she was older, naturally she wasn't as scared.

"What's yer name, kid?" Santa asked.

"Daisy," she replied, without a hint of fear. "I need a new doll fer Christmas."

"I didn't ask you that yet, did I?" Santa commented angrily.

"Are you havin' a bad day, Santa?" Daisy asked him.

"No, I'm having a great day," Santa replied sarcastically. Daisy, however, thought he was serious.

"Oh. Okay, so like I was saying, I want a…"

Daisy was cut off by Santa handing her to the elf that threw her down the slide like she had done with Bo. Like her cousin, Daisy screamed the whole way down, as Santa said ho, ho, ho in that same haunted voice he had with Bo. When she reached the bottom, her aunt and uncle were standing, waiting. A tear-streaked Bo was nestled in their uncle's arms.

"I don't think he wanted to admit it, but I don't think Santa was havin' a very good day," was all Daisy said.

Meanwhile, at the top, it was Luke's turn to see Santa. Grinning, he raced towards Santa and hopped on his lap before the elf could get to him.

"Name, kid," Santa demanded.

Luke raised his eyebrows. "My name's Luke, Mr. Claus," he answered politely.

"Whatcha want fer Christmas, kid?" Santa asked, once again very irritably.

"I want a new bike for Christmas," Luke answered.

Santa rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure. That way you can just ride it over a rock and fall and hurt yourself and make yer mommy and daddy really angry that they got you a bike."

"My mommy and daddy are dead," Luke said sadly. "'Sides, it's you that's gettin' me a bike, not someone else, Santa, that's why I'm askin' ya."

Santa shook his head. "No, I wouldn't get you one o' them dangerous contraptions," he said cynically. "How 'bout I get you a nice football instead? Next!"

"No!" Luke shouted back. "I don't wanna football, I wanna bike!"

"Needy, aren't we? Ho, ho, ho."

The elf lifted Luke up. She threw him down that slide the same way, and once again, Luke shrieked the entire way down.

Looking fearfully up at Martha, Jesse, Daisy, and Bo, Luke sighed. "I ain't sure if that was really Santa," he announced. "Ain't Santa supposed ta be nice? Cause that guy was just scary."

"Well yeah, Santa's usually a real nice fella," Jesse told him.

"So that really wasn't Santa, Lukie?" Bo asked hesitantly.

Luke shook his head. "I don't think he was," he told his baby cousin. "I think he was just a cheap imitation."

Martha smiled. "Maybe yer right, Luke," she agreed. "I think we should go home an' tomorrow night, the real Santa will come an' leave you presents. I hope you three have been real good this year!"

"I have," cooed Bo softly.

"Yes you have, Bo," Martha agreed. "You've been a great little boy and I'm sure the real Santa will bring you lots of presents."

Bo's grin seemed to light up the entire mall. "Yay! I can't wait."

Martha and Jesse smiled, leading their kids out from the mall. The drive home was substantially silent, as all three kids had fallen into a deep slumber in the backseat.

The next night, it appeared the real Santa Claus had come to the Duke farm while the children were all snug in their beds; visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads. Luke received a new shiny red bicycle. Daisy obtained a new doll. And Bo got a toy racetrack for his cars. Despite the scare given by the mall Santa, the Duke family enjoyed a nice Christmas.

THE END

So now you all have proof that I am indeed a psychopath. Merry Christmas anyways. Leave me a review as my present.


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